I wont bamboozle you: this trailer park starter kit is pretty uninspiring. But there's something about girl #2 that speaks to me in a she's sucked dick for chicken nuggets kind of way, and I think it should be shared with the world.
11-picture tutorial on how to secure your status as a registered sex offender. Specifically #9, which is miraculously not sporting a single visible skid mark.
The most offensive thing I've seen women do since accidentally loading buzzfeed.com. And much like that site, spending more than 5 minutes in the same room as one of these creatures will lead to ritual suicide. #GAG
Fetch my handkerchief, I wish to ejaculate post-haste.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
There's only 2 things I value in life more than quilted toilet paper. One involves napalm and celebrity home tours. The other is sexually frustrated women giving less than a fuck in public. Today I get 1 wish granted.
My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her. - George Washington
Admittedly this is all pretty standard 'i drank two whole Coronas on spring break and jerked off your dog in the basement' syndrome... but girl in pic #11 is asking for trouble. Like, losing your kinda trouble.
A phat ass can make up for anything: bad skin, pubic lice, the initial stages of Chlamydia. But THIS vagrant? She's got booty meat like Tom Cruise has regressive Aspergers and I don't know where to cram my quarters.
I'm all for pushing the limits. But when you need two tickets to fly coach cause you're packing more weight than Tyrion Lannister under your nipples, we officially have a fucking problem. #4 I'm looking in your direction.
Had a fully torqued meat wrench going until I panned on down to #16. Looks like someone crossbred Aubrey Plaza with a chimpanzee then shit her out of Sarah Silverman. In other words: I only ejaculated twice.
Simply infuckingcredible. I'd eat the potato latkes from her Hasidic shithole just to be in the same city as those vitamin D-enriched winnebagos. Bras have about as much use to her as Rosetta Stone does to Mike Tyson.
Confirmation #92 that you're a fully fledged slutaroonie: The douchebag quartet (pic #5) whip their cocks out in the corner of a bar, and rather than go Kung Fu Panda on them, you snap photos for Instagram. #NOFILTER
11 ladies that will never know the sweet kiss of a Carl's Jr. guacamole burger. If you're the type of guy that can enjoy a girl perusing her birth weight, this is the link for you. More of a protein connoisseur? .
Forgive my lack of female intuition, but I really wanna know - is weighing less than one of Dwayne Johnson's tits really THAT acceptable in most social circles? 7 seconds of watching The View has told me otherwise.
A pleasant reminder that in Rio De Janeiro, if a woman opens her mouth to do anything other than suck cock or eat creme de papaya, consequences will be had. I refuse to find meaning here... but already did.
Damn, check out the pulled pork on this one! You might end up having an erotic dream or 3 about eating her out. Huge emphasis on eating. Dominka's got enough Arby's marinating down there to end hunger in Detroit.
It's pretty horrible what women will do to be accepted and keep up with cultural beauty standards. But with that said, pretty much the entire before side can go kick rocks and the right side is welcome over for pizza at my place any time.
A beautiful face can redeem just about anything - bad breath, small tits, crooked teeth, type 2 genital herpes. But THIS chick.... she's got a booty like Conan the Barbarian and I don't know whether to run or rim.
The face of a ladyboy, tummy of Tara Reid, and a rear-end that only a visually impaired African American could love. Okay, that was mean. I do look forward to seeing you in the XXX remake of Elephant Man though.
This is Jodi Arias - the girl that sucked off her ex-bf and then decapitated him in the shower an hour later. Vagina looks a little top-heavy but still a very cute girl. She'll be hearing from me on writeaprisoner.com.
Apparently this is Bailey Jay, the Vita Don Teese of chicks w/ dicks. I'm not so sure. Some will look at this and see a beautiful shemale, all I see is that goofy fuck from .
She looks fine in the first pic, but if you keep scrolling down... it becomes pretty apparent who her parents are. Mother: Eva Mendez. Father: fucking Gonzo from Sesame Street. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
The ultimate collection (read: 4 images) of intoxicated women soiling the utter fuck out of their underpants. Perhaps I'm alone here but I'm seeing Taco Bell pintos & cheese across the board.
Looks like something crawled out of Tim Burton's asshole and stole Anne Heche's haircut (circa I Know What You Did Last Summer). Thanks lady, you've reduced my erection to a Jolly Rancher.
Photos of a deceased rape victim, categorized under 'videos-funny', and accompanied by user comments like "hope he fucked her asshole real good". That's some classy shit right there.
Nice tits. Nice body. But what really sold me was the low mileage turd cutter. Take a good look. No wrinkles, no stains. It's nothing more than a mere dot, so cute you'd almost forget Cocoa Puffs come out of there.